Credit: Marcus Dawes

Women love to see a well dressed, well groomed man. For me, all of that is good but there’s nothing like a beautiful mind. A man must have a functioning brain beside his sartorial qualities. It is shameful to be so dapper and sharp yet be so silly. Imagine, with all that slick look, you can’t carry a good conversation, your spelling is atrocious and your interpersonal skills are terrible. Men, this cannot be your portrait, not in 2015.

Amidst all the high fashion and history that this blog has been highlighting and promoting comes this matter of dressing up the mind. The mark of a true gentleman is more than how he wears his clothes. There are other facets to the man that must be attended to. The dandy exterior should be matched by a wise mind. Today, I share my advice on how to get the mind right. I’m going to forego the regular go-to-school, get a degree pep-talk.

1. Get a dictionary and a Thesaurus

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Whilst body language makes up to 55% of our communication, speech makes up just 7%. This is a very important 7%. With the increasing use of technology we do more typing, texting or swyping than actual speaking. Gents, you need to be armed with an arsenal of adjectives and numerous nouns. Totally abandon conjunctions like “ahh” and “uhmm”. Learn a plethora of new words and their synonyms so that you avoid repeating one word too often. For this you will have to acquire a dictionary and a thesaurus. Both are available on all your mobile devices.

2. Think Positively

Men are easily stressed and we generally tend to bottle up our feelings if we can’t resolve an issue. Consequently, more men commit suicide or suffer from mental disorders. The first step to fight stress and depression is by thinking clean, positive thoughts. The mind is powerful, as it directs your every move or inaction. Dwelling on negative thoughts can result in physical ailments. You could end up with a bad stomach, pain in the neck and shoulders, elevated heart rate, high blood pressure or even a stroke. Banish every bad thought from your meditation. “As a man thinketh so is he.”

3. Read books

As a child my mom would constantly be urging me to read, read, read. I listened and followed through on the instructions. Today, I’m reaping the rewards even as I continue in this habit. Books contain a treasure of information. What we men need to make good decisions is knowledge. There can be no exercise of wisdom without this.Therefore, it is of utmost importane that you read. Suggested books:

• From the Hood to the Hill – Barry Black
• Acres of Diamonds – Russell Conwell
• The Richest Man in Babylon – George Samuel Clason
• University of Success – Og Mandino
• Surprised by Joy – C.S. Lewis
• The Bible – God

4. Watch Interviews

Sometimes it’s not about finding the right answer but asking the right questions. There’s one particular interviewer that I’ve always admired – Stephen Sackur, host of BBC’s HARDtalk. He is very skillful at moving from question to question or transitioning from one controversial topic to a next. In a 30 minute interview you can learn how to ask pointed questions and how to respond to them as well. Barbra Walters, Ed Bradley and Ian Boyne are some other journalists who are excellent at their craft. After listening to these individuals you’ll come away with vital tips on how to carry a conversation. This is important for all your relationships. Whether it’s that new girl you’re planning to date or the business execs with whom you want to close a deal, you are going to need to “conversate.”

5. Listen to Motivational tapes.

You won’t always be wide eyed and bushy tailed. Life can hit you hard some days. It is during these seasons that we need external motivation. I have found a few phenomenal persons who are extremely good. My all time favourites are:

• Les Brown
• Eric Thomas
• Seth Godin
• Simon Sinek

6. Get a Plant

Taking care of a plant can instill life-changing values in a man. She’ll think twice about you upon visiting your flat and seeing that cactus next to the window.

7. Get Spiritual

If I were to place all the components of a watch into a bag and shake it vigorously for 10 hours and leave it for 20 years, would it then form into a perfect time piece telling the correct time? No! Regardless of what scientists and atheists want to claim and advocate, there is no way this vast universe just happened to pop out of nowhere on its own. Take a careful look at your own anatomy, all that form and function did not result from an accident. Someone created the world. Acknowledge that and you will enjoy a far better life.

Anyone can buy fancy clothes and hire a stylist but it takes effort to develop intelligence. Don’t just look good, be a good.