Women under pressure

Though this may seem strange to most millennials, but there was a point in our history, when premarital sex was abhorred. Then it would be an utter disgrace for an unmarried woman to be found pregnant. These things just don’t happen. The ideal, which was pursued by almost all, was to find a mate and get married. Of course, marriage changes everything, especially for a woman. But if you wanted to have sex, you had to get hitched.
Having sex always presents the risk of getting a child. Once a child enters the life of a woman, everything gets rearranged. Children mean education stops at your last graduation. This was the case a few decades ago. Women would just have a basic education because they got married early and from then on their primary duty was taking care of the home and children.

Two monumental disturbances occurred in western societies between 1890 and 1960. The was the Progressive Era for women. Then came contraceptives, an invention which totally shifted the dynamics. Contraceptive means women can pursue degrees and leave the husband finding until later. The statistics show that there is significant growth in the number of women pursuing higher degrees. She can still have sex, and earn an MBA. One would think this advantageous to women. But this shift creates a whole new set of problems.

When she has received her MBA and PhD, now a senior manager with a major firm, the hunt for a husband gets on in earnest. The biological clock’s ticking gets louder. Additionally, “the group” may have a few married people which adds to the pressure. And, less you forget, there are the nagging parents who are green with envy after watching their friends with grand kids. Juxtapose all of that to a woman’s desire to find the “perfect” man and then you see the dilemma that many a woman find themselves in.

A growing number of women are approaching 30 or have passed 30, need a husband but can’t find one. The issue is with available men, who have the credentials to become a husband. An educated woman 9 out 10 times will want an equally educated man. She has a masters, and an MBA and he still has a diploma. He’s not going to be seen as a long term prospect. The woman has now gotten to a stage where she is ready to settle and build. The guy still has a far way to go. He’s pretty much living off hope. She is living her dream…at least, a part of it.

Then comes her circle of friends, “the group”. These are other well educated individuals. They will look down their noses on some guy who only has a diploma. Peer pressure is a reality for many individuals both males and females. Some may not want to accept it but majority of the decisions people make are either consciously or subconsciously influenced by other persons. We think we “must” do this or that just in order to be accepted by “the group.” So, she may be willing to work with you but “the group’ will have none of it.

Here are some of the facts:
1. Far less males are pursuing higher education.
2. Grown men are more inclined to go for women that are much younger.
3. Though anecdotal, a number of men are intimidated by a well accomplished woman. Typically she is rather ambitious and this remains a challenge for the traditional male.

This therefore means that the probability of a woman in her 30s finding that ideal mate is drastically reduced.

Educated men now realize that they are in the minority and therefore their stock price has soared. With the demand so high they can afford to be picky. Some enjoy taking advantage of the desperate, vulnerable ladies. This is a travesty.

With the pressure mounting socially and biologically it is critical that women not just settle for any man. Know what you want in a man but be reminded that ideal only exists in dreams. The man you find will always require work and maintenance. Be prepared to adjust and altar your expectations. Look for someone you can work with, there are no finished products out there waiting for you.

Do you, style is personal.

One thought on “Women under pressure

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s